I know my blog is called "Straddling the Gap," but these days my whole family is straddling lots of huge gaps. The kids are so busy with activities, it's all Kent and I can do to keep up. Mackenzie has religious education, choir, softball, Girl Scouts and martial arts. Christian has religious education, Boy Scouts, bowling, Do-Re-Mi (music group), martial arts and youth group. (And we were worried he wouldn't have enough social interaction with homeschooling!)
Kent and I do a lot of "hand-offs." Because his days are spent teaching our son, he does his work in the evening and on weekends. I come home, we say hello and goodbye, and I see him about an hour before bedtime. It's not the easiest arrangement, but it appears to work best for the kids. It's a little more hectic for Kent and I. Kent recently told me "Welcome to the tween years." I guess so.
The next 10 years are going to be interesting. Our kids will go through the teen years into college and we will approach retirement. I tell myself that our kids will keep us young, but in the meantime I might get a lot more gray hair.
Buckle up.
cindy
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Musings of an Older Mom
With the new school year starting, I've noticed how my high school friends are sending their kids off to - COLLEGE! My kids are in 3rd and 5th grades. It reminds me yet again how Kentster and I are not quite like the other parents at orientation night. We are certainly not the "oldest" parents and there are others like us, but we do tend to be on the upper end of the spectrum.
We didn't exactly choose to be parents later in life. I remember in high school that my goal was to be done having kids at 30. I had good reason - my parents were "older parents." I'll never forget my first day of elementary school when the kids thought my white-haired dad was my grandfather. I was sure I didn't want that for myself. However, that wasn't God's plan for our life. We went through years of infertility before our kids were born.
Today I look at all the moms in their 20s and 30s and admire how much energy they have. Many of them are very involved with school and extracurricular activities. They have great hopes and expectations for their lives and those of their children. Being in their company keeps us young. I may not be any more experienced than they are at being a mom of an 8 and 10 year old, but I do have a little more wear on the tires of life. So here's some things I learned/observed (and still tell myself):
1. You can't schedule your life too far in advance. The best laid plans seldom go exactly the way you expect and it's a waste of time to pretend you have that much control over the future.
2. Speaking of control, lighten up a little bit. As my son's teacher said recently, college recruiters don't look at your child's 5th grade scores.
3. It's OK if children don't get to take as many dance (instrument, gymnastic, language, sports, personal enrichment) activities as you would like. They will still be well-balanced people.
4. If kids don't have a college fund, don't worry about looking for vocational schools. Many of us went to college (or more) without a college or trust fund. College has always been expensive compared to middle class incomes, but we still made it through, right?
5. It's OK to be a SAHM (or not), even if it is only for a while. College degrees and professional careers don't expire. You can go to work without being a bad mom. Don't let society dictate what is best for you and your family.
6. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that because kids are here, life (marriage, parenthood, careers, health) will be smooth sailing through the retirement years. Life is inherently bumpy with sudden drops, starts and stops. That also describes a roller coaster and they're still fun!
7. It's never too late. There is no timetable that dictates when life events will occur. You can go back to school, change careers, downsize or upsize, move to a new place. You are not locked into anything but being the best spouse and parent you can be.
8. Save what you can for the future - not just for the kids, but for YOU! Retirement seems very far away when you're 26 with two kids, but it will come.
9. The best families are not defined by their household income, the cars they drive or whether the kids have the newest/best clothes/toys/furniture. The best families are families who love each member exactly as they are.
10. Finally, don't forget about God and make sure the kids know enough about Him so they won't forget Him either. He won't forget about you.
I'm polishing my old lady glasses now and will return to my rocking chair. Hope I didn't preach too much. I'm not sure I would have listened, but I wish someone would have told me some of these things when I was younger, even before I had kids.
cindy
We didn't exactly choose to be parents later in life. I remember in high school that my goal was to be done having kids at 30. I had good reason - my parents were "older parents." I'll never forget my first day of elementary school when the kids thought my white-haired dad was my grandfather. I was sure I didn't want that for myself. However, that wasn't God's plan for our life. We went through years of infertility before our kids were born.
Today I look at all the moms in their 20s and 30s and admire how much energy they have. Many of them are very involved with school and extracurricular activities. They have great hopes and expectations for their lives and those of their children. Being in their company keeps us young. I may not be any more experienced than they are at being a mom of an 8 and 10 year old, but I do have a little more wear on the tires of life. So here's some things I learned/observed (and still tell myself):
1. You can't schedule your life too far in advance. The best laid plans seldom go exactly the way you expect and it's a waste of time to pretend you have that much control over the future.
2. Speaking of control, lighten up a little bit. As my son's teacher said recently, college recruiters don't look at your child's 5th grade scores.
3. It's OK if children don't get to take as many dance (instrument, gymnastic, language, sports, personal enrichment) activities as you would like. They will still be well-balanced people.
4. If kids don't have a college fund, don't worry about looking for vocational schools. Many of us went to college (or more) without a college or trust fund. College has always been expensive compared to middle class incomes, but we still made it through, right?
5. It's OK to be a SAHM (or not), even if it is only for a while. College degrees and professional careers don't expire. You can go to work without being a bad mom. Don't let society dictate what is best for you and your family.
6. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that because kids are here, life (marriage, parenthood, careers, health) will be smooth sailing through the retirement years. Life is inherently bumpy with sudden drops, starts and stops. That also describes a roller coaster and they're still fun!
7. It's never too late. There is no timetable that dictates when life events will occur. You can go back to school, change careers, downsize or upsize, move to a new place. You are not locked into anything but being the best spouse and parent you can be.
8. Save what you can for the future - not just for the kids, but for YOU! Retirement seems very far away when you're 26 with two kids, but it will come.
9. The best families are not defined by their household income, the cars they drive or whether the kids have the newest/best clothes/toys/furniture. The best families are families who love each member exactly as they are.
10. Finally, don't forget about God and make sure the kids know enough about Him so they won't forget Him either. He won't forget about you.
I'm polishing my old lady glasses now and will return to my rocking chair. Hope I didn't preach too much. I'm not sure I would have listened, but I wish someone would have told me some of these things when I was younger, even before I had kids.
cindy
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
20 Years Ago Today . . .
August 3, 1991 St. Edmund Catholic Church Oak Park, Illinois
I married the love of my life. He's still the love of my life. Although we don't look like this anymore,
I still look at him the same way. In fact, today I not only love him, but I respect him and admire him. 20 years is a long time. Life hasn't always been easy or kind, but it's been a blest life. So many blessing adorn our 20 years of marriage: two beautiful children, wonderful family and friends and a shared faith. Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow Blessings all mine and ten thousand beside Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness Morning by morning new mercies I see All I have needed thy hand hath provided Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me
I married the love of my life. He's still the love of my life. Although we don't look like this anymore,
I still look at him the same way. In fact, today I not only love him, but I respect him and admire him. 20 years is a long time. Life hasn't always been easy or kind, but it's been a blest life. So many blessing adorn our 20 years of marriage: two beautiful children, wonderful family and friends and a shared faith. Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow Blessings all mine and ten thousand beside Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness Morning by morning new mercies I see All I have needed thy hand hath provided Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me
For I am persuaded that neither death no life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39.
It's been a great ride . . . bring on the next 20 :)
cindy
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